Midnight Smack BY FU

JASON, MICHAEL, THE SAWYER FAMILY?

Or Angel of Music forever in your head…

Original post 10.20.2023 then uploaded here. Please disregard “canvas editor” on some of the photos. I give up trying to get rid of them.

What haunts you in the dead of night during the Halloween season? Perhaps it’s the line-up of Friday the 13th slashers, including the mind-blowing original where we witnessed a throat being, well, slit. And let’s not forget Kevin Bacon, pre-Kevin Bacon stardom, meeting a grisly end with an arrow through his neck from under a camp mattress.

The dilapidated house in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the creeps living there, had me sprinting to my car after the movie back in the late ’70s at the Chateau. I didn’t look back, and I didn’t stumble, either. Those were the “Greatest Of All Times” horror movies.

I ran as fast as I could to my 1970 yellow AMC Hornet.

Have you ever ventured to Spooky World? It’s uncertain if it still exists, as COVID may have put a nail in its coffin, but back in the ’90s, the Trail of Terror was, well, it was terrorizing. It still haunts me.

No tickets available for 2023. BOO!

Then there’s my own house, which was haunted from ’94 to 2008 or so. I used to scare the living daylights out of children for years. JZ has been begging me to set it up again every year since 2008, but I’m not sure if this generation can be tricked with a black garbage bag-covered vacuum cleaner adorned with a witch’s head and a bloody apron. Maybe it would work, but it was a lot of work, and sometimes, the “Greatest of All Times” should be left alone, just fondly remembered. Besides, now that I officially wear glasses, how can I possibly be a credible vampire?

Or could be what scares you, be, the hair-raising dilemma of not knowing what to bring to the neighbor’s Halloween party? If that keeps you awake at night, have no fear.

Gather round the cauldron, and I’ll introduce you to something that, for me, is even more spellbinding than Halloween itself. I call it “Food Unions,” the art of combining two or more food items that are truly enchanting. If done right, a Food Union can haunt you and your friends like a Phantom of the Opera song.

Angel of Music has consumed me. This, however, is the G.O.A.T musicals.

My go-to for any gathering is a Chèvre Board. It’s chèvre and it’s G.O.A.T. Maybe you remember the whole butterboard phenomenon? I thought it was a bit ridiculous. After all, how much butter can one eat?

Well, wait… how much bread is there?

I envisioned a goat cheese board. So much more de-captivating. Goat cheese is more nuanced and a bit more mysterious. Your friends will be lurking around the table.

Let’s conjure up some wicked components for a spooktacular Chèvre board:

The Chèvre Log: You need a small log of goat cheese; one of my favorites is Montchevre from Wisconsin. Their Chèvre is tangy and creamy. Also, I sat near them one year when one of their cheeses won an award at the American Cheese Society Conference. It was exciting to be just a seat and a state away from an award-winning cheese.

Something Sweet: Honey or jam, fresh or dried fruits [figs, blueberries, raspberries, grapes, or even apple slices]. Balsamic vinegar is a great option too.

Salty Delights: Flavored salts are a personal favorite; I can choose from espresso salt, smoked mustard, or even truffle salt because my shop is my personal pantry. But a plain crunchy salt can do the trick [or treat]. Olives are also a bewitching salty option.

Feeling the need to make your platter undead? Keep it simple with a skull or a spider or two. Dark, rustic boards and platters are perfect for setting the spooky mood. No need to create a mummy or jack-o-lantern out of goat cheese. Though if you do, send me a pic.

I had a fun pumpkin platter and heirloom apple jam.

Chèvre boards are a fast, spellbinding way to use up anything haunting your fridge or the *remnants of the trick-or-treat bags. Everyone at your Halloween party will be trying to unmask your secret ingredients, making it a FU, [Fun and Unusual] twist to the Halloween season.

*I’m not even kidding here. What comes to mind is goat cheese, a little pumpkin butter or puree, maybe a dash of cinnamon, candy corn, and just a sprinkle of espresso salt.

Yes, everyone was lurking around the table.