Midnight Smack BY FU

smack talk about food and stuff

FOOD UNIONS. Grab a fork; things could get weird.

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This is Food Union

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3–5 minutes

The Christmas Cookie Platter—

like a box of chocolate some of them are going to suck.

So I could go down a rabbit hole here, but since I actually stuck to the subject I’m logging this under Food Unions so, Grab a Fork; things could get weird. In my opinion that is.

Some Christmas cookies suck. Before I part with my unfavorite list, I realize there could be controversy over my choices. Feel free to weigh in. Also, what was hated as a kid could even be what we love as an adult. Not fruit cake. That’s a hard pass. A 10-year-old fruit “cake” was auctioned off as a White Elephant gift a couple years ago. I’m expecting a regift in another 10 years.

Many times the platters will include candy. So I have added homemade candies to my list.

Bear with me, just a slight detour here. Ribbon candy, yay or nay?

I found some Old Fashioned Ribbon candy box. I had visions of hard candies in my head. I guess my kerchief was on a bit too tight. They looked lovely in the holly Christmas bowl. The grandkids made a beeline and made their choices. Red, well, that’s peppermint [that’s a whole other rabbit hole, do we even like candy canes???] The other choice was a shiny green one. I thought, Oh, Geeze … [yes, with a strong Minnesota accent], my grandson is not going to like spearmint. Yep, immediately spit out. The strong smell hit me like a long-lost childhood candy choice regret. Mouth numbing, clove! Not spearmint eat all. What is up with these old-fashioned candies? They aren’t even sweet! Was sugar rare in the olden days? Why yes, it was rationed to 15 lbs per household in 1945. Ok, hard Christmas candy, you get a pass. However, in a pinch, cloves will help with a toothache.

 

Actual ribbon candy.

On to The List

Wait another second. I will start by saying that my all-time favorite Christmas cookie as a child and as an adult is, The Russian Tea Cakes. We called them Butter Balls [Whether we used butter is another thing. My mom was probably still thinking WWII rations. She always refers to butter as real butter.] The powdery little pillows of nutty butter goodness are also called Snowballs or Mexican Wedding Cookies. The latter because the cookies migrated to Mexico with European nuns who made them for weddings.  

My Unfavorite List [unranked]

The Thumb Print Cookie: This treat might as well be jam on toast.

Frosted and Decorated Sugar Cookies: I know I am going to get booed. I’m not a frosting person, and it’s always too thick. The sprinkles have no flavor, not even a sugar flavor. I ate them as a kid, but they weren’t my first choice, even then.

Divinity: What a lot of work mom went through to make this!! She loved it. I ate it every year, wondering if I would like it this time, each year still no. I will say I did see a recipe by Martha Stewart that cut them into rectangles with candied fruit on the top. And for a split second, I thought, well, maybe… Then I remembered fruit cake.

Those weird Peanut Butter Filled Ritz Cracker Cookies: made even weirder being dipped in tasteless white *cough* chocolate.

Spritz Cookies: Don’t hate me. These are boring, and the silver ball on top could break a tooth.

Rum Balls: Man, those things will make your eye water. So boooooozy. Card those children.

Date Balls: Dates are raisins older and annoying brother. Look, it’s chocolate, oops, no. Fooled again. Emphasis on again.

Corn Flake Green Wreaths: These are just so green. And a cinnamon candy for an ornament? Why does my stomach feel weird?

Peppermint Bark: This is actually referred to as The Pumpkin Spice of Christmas.

Chocolate Covered Cherries.: Thank goodness I stopped trying. They will never be good.

This could be unpopular. Fantasy Fudge [Marshmallow Cream Fudge]: You can’t say I’m wrong unless you have had real homemade fudge cooled down in an ice cube tray. 

 

Photo https://momsdinner.net/cornflake-wreaths/

Guess what? I just saw a reference to a cookie platter as charcuterie. Oh, don’t even get me started. She said, while popping a chocolate covered cherry in my mouth, again. Maybe this time…